100 Ways To Be a Man of Style and Substance

Since writing “100 Ways to Be Elegant”, I’ve had numerous requests from both men and women to write a version for gentlemen. Although I’m far from being an expert on the topic, I have had the honour of knowing men who embodied many of the traits considered stylish for both the classic and the modern gentleman. So, here is the list for gentlemen, but only according to LiveCharmed…

1. Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument. ~Desmond Tutu, on the best advice his father ever gave him

2. Find strong, substantive male role models to emulate

3. Carry yourself with quiet confidence

4. Be well read

5. Be well travelled

6. Never underestimate the importance of a good blue suit. ~Albert Finney, “A Good Year”

7. Be certain that your hair, beard and nails are properly maintained

8. Dress for the occasion

9. Take responsibility

10. Apologise sincerely

11. Make no excuses

12. Read “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Enquiry into Values” by Robert M. Pirsig (the book Phil Jackson cites as his major guiding force)

13. Stay fit and healthy

14. Practice yoga to learn the strength of calm

15. Avoid profanity

16. Date strong, smart partners

17. Make your intentions in a relationship clear

18. Marry only for love

19. Devote yourself to a worthy cause

20. Do work you enjoy

21. Give an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay

22. Use your talents to better the world

23. Better yourself

24. Perfect a signature dinner to serve to your guests…whether it’s a candlelit dinner for two, or a sublime dinner party for eight

25. Learn a second language

26. Learn how to choose an appropriate bottle of wine, whether from a restaurant wine list or from a wine shop shelf

27. Don’t cheat, lie or steal

28. Be on time

29. Be where you say you’ll be

30. Keep your word, in both business and personal matters

31. Show character in all situations

32. Don’t underestimate the power of a strong vocabulary

33. Hone your own personal style, in your wardrobe and in your home

34. Keep both your home and your wardrobe well maintained

35. “A man should look as if he has bought his clothes with intelligence, put them on with care and then forgotten all about them.” ~Sir Hardy Amies.

36. Surround yourself with intelligent, interesting people

37. Be firm, but fair

38. Be kind to children

39. Be kind to animals

40. Visit your parents and grandparents

41. Step in when someone is being mistreated

42. Open doors

43. Pull out chairs

44. Read “Dressing the Man: Mastering the Art of Permanent Fashion” by Alan Flusser

45. Don’t be defensive

46. Mentor others

47. Wear a blazer; it smartens up even the most casual outfit

48. Learn how to tie a proper bow tie

49. Wear linen in summer

50. Pay special attention to the state of your shoes

51. Pay special attention to the state of your finances

52. Save

53. Invest

54. Go on a safari

55. Avoid bragging, share your triumphs with only your closest confidantes

56. Don’t be defeatist

57. Remember that it’s more stylish to be tactful, than it is to be right

58. Be able to hold an intelligent conversation on the arts and on politics

59. Read the classics

60. Write “The Gentleman’s Guide to Paris”

61. Learn how to make the perfect Manhattan, and other classic cocktails

62. Listen to others’ opinions

63. Follow instructions

64. Ask for directions

65. Read Esquire for ideas on being your best self

66. Support ethics and good sportsmanship in sports

67. Carry a handkerchief

68. Drive a vintage sports car

69. Have one knock out suit that will always win the day

70. Own your own tuxedo

71. Play golf

72. Own a proper weekender bag

73. Learn to appreciate a wide variety of music, to include jazz, classical and classic vocalists

74. Wear suits on dates

75. Have dinner at Gibson’s in Chicago

76. Choose Orchids as houseplants, for their simple, masculine beauty

77. Be the kind of man your grandmother would want you to be

78. Be the kind of man you’d want your daughter to marry, even if you don’t have a daughter

79. Shop at Hugo Boss, Ermenegildo Zegna and Michael Kors

80. Wear a black turtleneck, jeans, black lace-ups and a black trench coat in winter

81. Turn off the television more often

82. Have an interesting hobby

83. Practice good posture, it shows confidence

84. Own a statement watch

85. Be able to handle a difficult conversation with tact and humour

86. Tell witty and intelligent jokes

87. Think more

88. React less

89. Be prepared to stand out in the crowd for your standards

90. Have a very few close, trustworthy friends

91. Own a hat from Lock & Co Hatters, London (where Johnny Depp buys his hats)

92. Own a timeless camel hair coat

93. Buy small, personal gifts

94. Be modest

95. Be humble

96. Smile more often

97. Slow down, and everything you do will seem more elegant

98. Learn the art of conversation

99. Never make someone else feel small

100. Choose quality over quantity, as a way of life


Photo: George Clooney via Pinterest


DeeAnne Chomiak

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